That Girl.

- Shreya Chopra

Day 1: She looks at herself in the mirror and smiles.

Day 3: Someone calls her fat. She looks at herself in the mirror, stands there, staring at her body and removes the comment from her head. She smiles. She is happy with herself.

Day 6: Four of her classmates make fun of her acne.

Day 7: Her boyfriend leaves her for another girl. She feels confused. She feels hopeless. She starts to feel less worthy.

Day 8: She looks at herself in the mirror and frowns.

Day 9: Her mother makes her favourite cake. But she isn’t hungry. 

Day 10: She feels “fat.”

Day 12: Her best friends are too occupied to listen to why her heart feels so heavy. She needs someone to talk to.

Day 13: She looks at herself in the mirror. She hates her acne.

Day 14: She sleeps the entire day.

Day 15: She looks at herself in the mirror. She cries. 

Day 16: She feels guilty for eating that pizza. Nothing else goes into her stomach that day.

Day 17: She scrolls through Instagram, looking at the “perfect” bodies and faces of models that have been heavily edited.

Day *27* : She wakes up in the afternoon with tears in her eyes. She has cuts on her skin. She has no food in her stomach. She has a war going on in her head. Nothing feels okay.

Day 28: She faints. After 3 hours, she wakes up to her mother holding her hand in a hospital room.

Day 29: She feels empty. Physically, mentally and emotionally. So much happened in just a month and she blames herself for it.

Day 30: The day I wish I could go to her and hug her tight. I wish I could tell her how much I love her. How every inch of her skin was nothing less than perfect and how her mind was capable of creating so much more than negative thoughts about herself. How her worth didn’t lie in the hands of lovers who left her and friends who turned their backs on her. I wish I could erase her cuts and make her feel proud to be the strong, intelligent and brave girl that she is. 

And that’s what I learn to do from day 70. I look at myself in the mirror. I am recovering. I am beautiful in every single way and no one else can make me think differently about myself. I am who I am and I’m proud of my journey. My scars tell my story. I smile. I am that girl.

To every person struggling to love themselves: You are so much more than the skin you’re in. You are so much more than what you think you are. Some things can be hard to accept, some parts of you can be hard to love. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re completely yours and always will be. Stop hating yourself and start forgiving yourself. Give your mind some rest. These cloudy days will pass. Do not let others make you feel small. Do not let your mind trick you into thinking that you deserve anything other than love and happiness.

We’re all still learning how to love ourselves and accept our individuality. Let’s do it together. Let’s grow together and learn from each other. Let’s make this world a safe place. Let’s make our MIND a safe place.